Pastors Gather Around 'The Anxious Bench'

Although they serve in different churches and ministries all over North America, seven Calvin Theological Seminary graduates have been meeting for several years via “The Anxious Bench.”

This is not a real bench like the one 19th-century evangelist Charles Finney placed at the front of his church during the Great Awakening for “broken people” who wanted to come forward and turn their lives over to Christ.

Rather, it is a virtual bench on the Internet that the CRC pastors have used as a way to stay in touch, ask tough questions, and share prayer requests, thoughts, ideas, and concerns since they left seminary to begin their ministries in the late 2000s.

“We all became close friends in seminary. When we graduated, we began using this online forum we call ‘The Anxious Bench’,” said Rev. Brian Ochsner, pastor of Sully Christian Reformed Church in Sully, Iowa.

“We use our forum often; nearly every week there are at least a half-dozen blog postings. . . . We have used this as a way to challenge each other and to stay faithful to Christ in our ministries.”

In seminary, the seven pastors plowed through Greek and Hebrew side by side, studied together for their oral comprehensive exams, and met frequently in the basement of the chapel to pray, says Ochsner.

As they prepared to leave seminary, they committed to continuing their friendship through emails and eventually through blogs. They also have met every other month or so through video conferencing.

“‘The bench’ are my friends when I need it, my mentors when I require it, my prayer partners when I’m discouraged, my advisors when I’m struggling to make decisions,” said Rev. Joel Renkema, pastor of Visalia CRC in Visalia, Calif.

In recent years, the pastors have received two grants through the the CRC’s Sustaining Pastoral Excellence Program — one in 2011 and the other in 2014 — to help them meet, along with their spouses, for a weekend retreat.

The pastor-peer-group grants helped to pay expenses for them to travel to meeting locations so that they could reconnect in person and allow their wives to get to know one another better. In 2011 they met outside of Denver, and last year they met in northern California.

“When we meet, we are committed to give everyone an hour or so to tell the story of what has taken place in their ministry — what are the highlights, what are the struggles,” said Ochsner.

“We all express our joys and hurts and then pray out loud for one another. It’s a really powerful time.”

Nick Bylstra, another of the ministers, said the gatherings, as well as connecting through email and through blogs, are helpful because “the brothers on the bench, and by extension, their wives, ‘get it.’”

“It is difficult for friends who are not involved in ministry to appreciate the unique dynamics of ministry that my wife and I experience,” said Bylstra, pastor of Fairfield CRC in Fairfield, Calif.

All of the pastors and their wives are moving beyond those initial years of ministry and many have gone through tough times of transition. One pastor recalled how, after calling his family, he turned to the group to let them know his wife had cancer.

“This group is a safe place to share everything in ministry and has helped me in ways that cannot be measured,” said another pastor.

Rev. Mark Knetsch, pastor at Resurrection Life in North Carolina, said he has found that the issues they face individually and as a group change as the years pass.

“Our unique bond continues to morph as we age and gain ministry experience, making for colorful, lively, and honest conversation.”

He said that he is able to continue growing as a disciple of Christ “because this group provides encouragement, accountability, rebuke, and love in ways that others who have not known me as long cannot provide in my local context.”

Rev. Syd Ypma, a campus chaplain at the University of Ottawa, Ont., says the idea of calling it “The Anxious Bench” came from one member of their group while they were still in seminary. The term is used humorously, since not all of them are necessarily fans of Charles Finney.

But the idea has been a good name for an effort whose impact remains strong after nearly a decade.

“We all give thanks to God for ‘the bench’ and the way the Holy Spirit has worked through it to strengthen us, our families, and the ministries God has called us to,” Ypma writes on “The Anxious Bench” site.

Ochsner said the group hopes, regardless of whether they are able to obtain a grant, to meet in person again in 2017.

“This has been a lifesaving group for me. I can’t imagine doing ministry without a group of guys like this,” said Ochsner.