I maintained a happy mom façade while my family packed their suitcases, but as they drove off and I waved goodbye from the window, tears filled my eyes. 

All winter long, I’d looked forward to this small mountain getaway that they had just embarked on. I’d begun planning this spring break trip last November, while in the throes of a challenging year. Envisioning the happy days to come in fresh spring mountain air made me smile through the coldest and darkest winter days.

Five days before we were to leave, we took our van to the mechanic for a quick pre-trip checkup; the van was to be back that same night. Unfortunately, when the mechanic took a look, he discovered part of the axle had broken away. Because the van has been modified to be wheelchair accessible, finding the needed part to fix it wasn’t a simple matter.

Every day, we checked with the mechanic to see if he had found the part. Finally, the day before we were to leave for the vacation, we accepted that the van would not be fixed in time. While my husband and kids were able to go in our other vehicle, only our accessible van could transport my very heavy, non-folding power wheelchair. I would have to stay home. 

I wish I could say I transformed my disappointment over missing the trip into a wonderful, refreshing staycation. I didn’t. I was miserable, sad, and anxious the whole time. 

Instead of waking up to mountain vistas and eating muffins at our favourite mountain cafe, I found myself grappling with grief over the many things I’ve had to sit out on over the past 26 years since I was in a disabling car accident that changed my entire life. 

Things like the abilities I once had, the sports I used to be able to play, my first career as a physical therapist, and the fortieth birthday trip to Mexico my husband and several friends went on. I stayed home from that trip and others because airlines require passengers to sit in standard plane seats, and I need my power wheelchair for seating. 

It isn’t easy to face significant obstacles, continually trying to navigate barriers that others rarely have to think about.

I think of the goals and dreams I had before that car accident. I had hoped that when I finished university, I might volunteer my physical therapy skills in a faraway orphanage, helping children with disabilities. I felt struck by God’s call “to look after orphans in their distress” (James 1:27). My health after the accident never recovered to the point that dream could become reality. 

All this makes me ponder what a justice-oriented Christian’s role might be when we find our paths strewn with rocky barriers. I’ve grappled for years with how to still live out my Christ-calling to love my neighbour (Matthew 22:39) when physical disabilities have made many things very challenging for me. How do I help people in need, as Jesus calls us to do, when I am constantly trying to surmount the barriers, needs, and struggles of my own life?

I don’t have a great answer—other than to simply try to orient myself to loving those God brings across my path.  

While it’s true that I cannot go far away to love others, I can smile at the strangers I encounter going down the street. Maybe that will brighten someone’s day. I can try to treat the people around me with care and gentleness, offering a hug or a listening ear when needed. When I notice injustice, I can speak up instead of turning away. I can open my heart and home to older children and youth who need a family, through adoption. I can volunteer my editing skills to a ministry in Brazil that provides homes to children.

It has been a transformation of heart—from big dreams to the beauty of ordinary faithfulness.

Loving those Christ brings across our paths is something I believe we are all called to do—wherever those paths take us and regardless of how many obstacles we encounter along the way. Whether we spend our days doing great things far away or live quieter lives closer to home, opening our eyes to the needs of those around us, treating people with kindness, and finding ways to love well are holy acts that can change lives.