Not the Only One Lonely
On Thursday, Jan. 22 at the 2026 January Series, Dr. Vivek Murthy spoke on the loneliness epidemic and the power of human connection.
The January Series, held annually at Calvin University’s Covenant Fine Arts Center, is also available via streaming and at approximately 45 remote sites worldwide. This year’s series runs through January 30 and covers topics such as Journeying with Story, The Path to Cultural Repair, and America at 250: How Our National Parks Inspire a More Perfect Union.
Murthy is a physician and public health leader who served as the 19th and 21st U.S. Surgeon General (2015-17; 2021-25), leading the United States Public Health Service Commissioned Corps. He has led national efforts to address addiction, youth e-cigarette use, and the opioid crisis. Murthy is the author of Together, a book focused on the health impacts of loneliness and potential solutions. In 2024, Time magazine recognized him as one of the most influential people in health. His deep understanding of health and loneliness were evident during his talk as he shared insights on human connection in an increasingly lonely world.
The Loneliness Epidemic
Murthy shared that a third of adults and half of young people struggle with loneliness. Loneliness, he said, is more than a feeling — it has real consequences for our mental and physical health. He pointed out that social disconnection increases the risk of mental illness and of chronic physical conditions.
He also emphasized that loneliness is not always visible. He noted that he hears stories from people who don't “look” lonely but are struggling.
Rebuilding Social Connection
Murthy highlighted the importance of being intentional in rebuilding social connection. “Even a few moments of genuine human connection,” he said, “can reduce our stress and leave us feeling good for a while.”
He added, “So much of this work, of social connection, is about showing up. It’s not always about fixing everyone’s problems. It’s not always about finding the perfect thing to say at the perfect time. It’s about showing up for each other and recognizing that inside many of us are struggling. We don’t always know what they are struggling with — it could be the loss of a loved one; it could be that somebody is sick in their family; it could be a loss of meaning; it could be that they’re worried about their finances; it could be that they have to put a kid through school and they don’t know how to pay for it; it could be anything. But we are all carrying these burdens around, and when we show up in each other’s lives — whether it’s with a pot of soup, or just to say hello, just to check on someone — we help lighten that load, and for some people that can make all the difference.”
He also said that service is one of the most powerful antidotes to loneliness: “When we serve another person, we not only forge a connection with them; we remind ourselves that we have something valuable to bring to the world.” He talked about how loneliness can erode self-esteem over time, making a person feel that they’re lonely because they’re “not likeable or loveable,” which paradoxically pushes them to withdraw — though the real need is to reach out.
How Loneliness Shows Up
Murthy explained that loneliness often shows up as irritation, anger, or mistrust. Lonely people may be hyper-vigilant or skeptical, which can make them feel unsafe when receiving an invitation. One way to combat this is to invite someone into activities that are already happening, such as a service project or a watch party for a game. He said this can be a great way “to get people out of their shell in a way that feels safe.”
How Technology Plays a Role
Murthy spoke candidly about technology. Social media can help people connect, he said, but it can also amplify anxiety. Algorithms are designed to keep people scrolling, often showing unsettling content. Adolescents who spend more than three hours a day on social media face double the risk of depression and anxiety as compared to those who don’t.
The burden isn’t only on kids — parents feel the impact as well. Many parents feel lonely or stressed, frustrated that they can’t “disconnect” their children from screens.
Murthy emphasized that social media and phone addiction are intentionally designed. Unlike with television and radio, people are saying, “I wish I didn’t spend so much time on this device.” It’s the first time in tech development in which we hear people saying they want to step away from technology but feel trapped. He said, “We have to draw the line around letting our families be the guinea pigs that come too often at the expense of our own well-being.” He noted again that these addictions are not an accident — they’re caused by design, and they’re adding to the loneliness people are experiencing.
Fighting Loneliness Together
If we want to fight loneliness, said Murthy, we need to do it together. Our humanity is what connects us. We need to hold each other accountable, put down our phones, invite others in, and nurture our communities. Murthy said that faith communities are really powerful at tackling loneliness and have the ability to make a positive difference.
If you’re experiencing loneliness, you’re not alone, Murthy said. It can be difficult to be honest with yourself, or with the people around you, but reaching out matters. Whether for yourself or someone you know, it’s important to lean into human connection and create a positive impact in our lonely world.
