One Thing Leads to Another
Denise Posie (left) and Bonnie Nicholas worked together on the maintaining boundaries webinar.
It was the late Ben Becksvoort, a Christian Reformed Home Missions leader for many years, who first invited Bonnie Nicholas, director of CRC Safe Church Ministry, to a meeting at St. Francis Retreat Center in DeWitt, Mich. Becksvoort served in the role of CRC liaison on the retreat center’s Sustaining Pastoral Excellence board.
“I fondly remember our lunch on the way home when he suggested that we split a sandwich (it was cheaper than paying for two halves). As we ate our agreed-upon sandwich, we discussed CRC involvement in an ecumenical group that was developing a training program on healthy boundaries for pastors and ministry leaders” says Nicholas.
Although she was already busy with other matters, the request appealed to her because so many Safe Church situations involve boundary violations — times when people cross lines into inappropriate behaviors. And since prevention is a far better strategy than waiting until the damage of crossing a barrier has been done, she decided to help develop the curriculum.
“With guidance from the Lord, I joined an extremely talented team of people from various denominations. Our work together over several months resulted in a program called ‘Boundary Tending and Border Crossing.’ A pilot project was planned, involving six day-long workshops at various Michigan locations. And the Lord blessed these efforts; evaluations were very positive as we all learned so much,” said Nicholas.
In the highly interactive format, pastors and ministry leaders who participated came away with a better understanding of the power inherent in their role, common pitfalls to avoid, and how to better care for themselves.
Denise Posie, of Pastor Church Relations, joined the team of workshop facilitators. She also saw the value in boundary training and how it could enhance her work with pastors and congregations.
In an effort to make boundary training more accessible to CRC pastors and congregations, Nicholas and Posie worked together on a webinar, adapting pieces of the boundary training material for a CRC Network format. “Healthy Boundaries in Ministry Relationships” is available as an archived resource on the Network.
After the webinar aired, they received a request from Christian Reformed World Missions.
“They asked if we could we facilitate a workshop on the same topic for mission candidates preparing to go into the field. We welcomed the opportunity. Once again, God blessed these efforts as the workshop was helpful and well received,” said Nicholas.
The workshop helps to emphasize how healthy boundaries provide a container or context for transformational ministry to take place.
Nicholas reflects, “Looking back, I’m very thankful that I said ‘yes’ to a meeting invitation. It’s exciting to see the Lord opening doors for boundary training to increase, as we continue to say, ‘yes’ and as one thing leads to another. Only God knows where it might lead next.”
