Who Decides What’s Polite?

Last month, Christian Reformed World Missions hosted an orientation for new missionaries preparing to serve on the global missions field.

One of the many topics that they explored included cultural competency—the importance of knowing key differences between your host culture and the one you are coming from.

Missionaries who have been serving among the Fulani people in West Africa for many years have witnessed firsthand the importance of cultural competency.

During the orientation, one missionary shared some of the differences that she had to adjust to as she began serving. Below are five cultural differences that she recently shared.

Hand Shakes

North Americans tend to develop a firm hand-shake. They look you square in the eye and give you a grasp that means business. This is not true among Fulani, who barely squeeze your hand at all.

“It’s just not their way,” she said. “One barely touches the other’s hand and lowers one’s gaze. It’s not wimpy nor does it hint at shiftiness. That’s just the polite way to do it among Fulani.”

Walking Together

When she walks with a Fulani woman,  she always wants to walk right beside her, as any social equal would do. But that’s not what feels normal for the Fulani woman.her.

“She wants me to walk behind her. I figure it’s because, a) she knows the way and b) the path is narrow between the vicious thorn bushes,” said the missionary.

“Those thorns will poke through your shoe or scratch your ankle. So, though I feel awkward, I follow after her.”

Right-of-Way

In North America one can call: “Get out of the way, please! I’m coming through!” if carrying a heavy box and someone is standing in the way.

“We westerners are usually in tune with whatever work is happening and try not to impede it. Not so in Fulani culture!” said the missionary.

“The person who is standing there has the right to stay put, and the person in motion must move around that person.”

Who Greets First?

In Fulani culture, people sitting together won’t greet an approaching person, friend, or stranger. It’s the one coming in who greets first.

“The approaching person says the first words and stretches out a hand to the oldest person sitting in the group and then continues to the others, being sure not to miss anyone. It’s just the proper behavior for them,” she said.

Personal Space

In Fulani culture, there are no hugs. Personal space is strictly guarded.

“Western visitors to our neighbors often throw their arms around Fulani, especially for photos. It’s tolerated, but it’s an act which makes Fulani feel uncomfortable,” said the missionary.

“Neither do they do the three air-kisses which are so common here among French-influenced visitors. I air-kiss my French hairdresser three times after she cuts my hair, but I would never do this with a Fulani.”

Knowing each of these details have helped the missionaries in their ultimate goal of sharing God’s love with the Fulani people that they interact with every day, she said.

Learning their neighbors’ culture, its beauty and its blind spots, too, stretches them and gives them perspective to view their  own culture and other cultures, said the missionaries.

It gives them perhaps the tiniest of tiny windows into what God himself sees when he looks at cultures. It helps missionaries to understand and appreciate “what is excellent and praiseworthy about our neighbors’ way of doing things,” they said.

As new missionaries prepare to leave the field, pray that they too will rejoice in the differences that they experience in their host culture and find ways to share God’s love within that context.