I was baffled. I thought I was being helpful and that my suggestions might begin resolving the issues. Yet these conversations routinely stirred up conflict between us. Finally one day when a post-work debriefing once again turned argumentative, Monica yelled (full disclosure: I doubt she actually yelled, but what she said had such an impact that it still echoes in my mind): “I don’t want you to fix it! I just want you to listen!”...