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‘Not for the Faint of Heart’

September 9, 2020

Boz Tchividjian, a lawyer, former law professor, and author, recently spoke to Christian Reformed Safe Church Ministry coordinators, volunteers, and other ministry leaders about his work prosecuting sexual abuse cases, especially in the church, and protecting persons who have been sexually abused.

Founder of GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment), Tchividjian joined participants for the Safe Church 2020 Webinar Series.

“I grew up in a conservative Christian home and didn’t know much about abuse,” he said. “But when I was working as a prosecutor in central Florida, my eyes were opened to so many horrific aspects of sexual abuse.

“You can’t sit in a room with a nine-year-old girl who has been abused for a year by her father’s best friend and not be moved and want to help that person find justice.”

Tchividjian created the first “Sexual Crimes” division at the Office of the State Attorney in the 7th Judicial Circuit of Florida. Later, as the division chief, he was responsible for prosecuting hundreds of sexual victimization-related cases and supervising thousands of such cases.

“In that work,” he said, “I was struck by how connected many of the cases were to the faith community — and almost every time I was devastated by the response of the church and how the person who had been abused kept being revictimized by church leaders who ignored them.”

A grandson of the late evangelist Billy Graham, Tchividjian decided to found GRACE in 2004, he said, to “train and equip the church community so it can be a place the wounded move toward and don’t flee from.”

While at GRACE, Tchividjian oversaw a number of high-profile abuse investigations, including one involving abuse at a boarding school run by New Tribes Mission and the alleged mishandling of sex-abuse allegations at Bob Jones University.

Tchividjian left GRACE in May 2020 to enter private practice and continue his work fighting for victim’s rights, especially in church-related cases. He remains convinced churches of all shapes and sizes continue to ignore the pain, sorrow, and dark memories that the abused experience.

He said he will likely take on other cases, but his focus remains on those who have been abused in the church — and by church leaders who ignore such instances of abuse.

“Churches are bursting at the seams with people seeking out help and guidance. I want to be representing people who have been failed by the system,” he said. “I would like to help put a culture into place that is safe for those who have been abused to come forward.”

The mostly male power structure of the church, in his mind, runs counter to the kind of church that Jesus came to form among his disciples, said Tchividjian.

There are churches today, he added, that exist to perpetuate themselves, to serve their own needs, and don’t make it a priority to embrace the hurt or broken in their midst. “Over and over again, Jesus moved toward individuals, toward the vulnerable, the marginalized, the wounded.”

That is the story of the Good Samaritan, who “got in the dirt and helped the man who had been robbed and beaten up,” said Tchividjian.

Doing this kind of work, moving toward the hurt and abused and not ignoring their needs, is very hard work. “It is not for the faint of heart, but it is who we need to be as a church. We need to create places where the wounded feel safe,” said Tchividjian.

In our churches, he said, the most wounded should be the ones who feel the most safe to step forward. And that’s not what is found in our churches today.

“We need formal guides in churches that can direct us when an allegation comes forward. But even if you have protocols in place, that doesn’t mean you’ll be welcome if you come forward,” he said. “Still, we have to keep remembering that representing Jesus is about truth and light and not darkness.”

Also important to remember, he said: “We can bring our allegations before church leaders. But often people with power want to hold on to their power and don’t want to work on assessing this issue.”

This webinar was part of a series sponsored by Safe Church Ministry. For information about upcoming webinars in 2020, see 2020 Safe Church Webinar Series.