The focus of the Sustaining Pastoral Excellence (SPE) project is pastors. But as our work continues, we’re becoming more and more aware of the role that pastors’ spouses play in the realization of our goal of supporting and strengthening pastors. Generally, the pastor’s spouse is his or her main source of support and encouragement. This is no small task!
The role of a pastor’s spouse can be both rewarding and challenging. Spouses deal with challenges other congregation members don’t have, such as:
- Finding a friend within the congregation they can safely share things with
- Obtaining recognition that they’re individuals and not just the pastor’s wife (or husband)
- Making it clear to congregational members that their children aren’t perfect just because one parent is a pastor
- Communicating that they aren’t the go-between for a congregant and the pastor
- Countering the assumption that being a pastor’s spouse automatically means they play piano, cook for visitors, teach Sunday school and have a clean or perfect home
- Leading a normal life while living in a "fish bowl" where your entire life seems to be on display for everyone to watch
SPE has organized conversations with pastors’ spouses at regional mentoring conferences held across Canada and the US. We’ve listened carefully as spouses shared their challenges, joys, frustrations, and needs. In response to this, the SPE project has convened the Spouses of Pastors Task Force. The mission of this task force is to support and encourage pastors’ spouses. What exactly this will all entail is currently being worked on.
We’re excited about this development in the SPE project. We’ll keep you posted on our progress and of the wonderful opportunities for pastors’ spouses that will arise out of our work. If you have any questions please contact Joan Visser, the convener of the task force, at djvisser@comcast.net
