By Rachel Boehm Van Harmelen
(Article first appeared in the February 7, 2005 issue of the Christian Courier.)
While many churches offer elaborate systems to secure pastoral care for church members, very few spend much time thinking of "pastor care." Evidence of neglect in this area is the growing number of pastors in the Christian Reformed Church (CRC)—and other denominations—leaving parish ministry or changing careers entirely. Other signs of the lack of pastor care are growing stress levels among parish ministers, leading to physical and mental illnesses or marriage and family breakdowns.
A growing number of pastors, however, are taking active steps to find better ways to care for themselves and reduce their work-related stress—and many are looking to peer learning groups to do so. A recent conference in Grand Rapids, Michigan, drew CRC pastors who are leaders of peer learning groups, groups that receive funding from the CRC’s Sustaining Pastoral Excellence (SPE) program. At the conference, pastors spent time sharing the impact that their peer learning groups have had on their personal lives and ministries. A clear consensus emerged from the day’s discussions: peer learning groups fill important gaps in the lives of parish pastors, reducing stress and contributing to healthier ministries.
The Need for Lifelong Learning
Pastors today know that education needs to continue long after they leave the seminary. Conference participants noted time and time again the need for ongoing opportunities to enhance their skills and education—either formally or informally. Peer learning groups help meet this need by enabling small groups of pastors to gather regularly to study books, share experiences, hone preaching skills or listen to guest speakers on various topics.
"Our group always has a book that we are reading," says Rev. Tom Bomhof, pastor of Fleetwood CRC in Surrey, B.C. "We get together and we discuss it, and it really motivates us and keeps us furthering our learning. We are always looking for conferences or sessions we can go to together."
Bomhof says it’s not that he couldn’t read the books on his own, but having the group gives him the push he needs to set aside the time to read and reflect. "With everything coming at you, you get the tyranny of the urgent," he says. "The group gives you the motivation to read the book. The group gives you accountability."
A pastor at Harderwyk Ministries in Holland, Michigan, Rev. Wayne Brouwer participates ina peer learning group geared to developing the leadership skills of senior pastors in large CRC congregations. "We are nurtured as leaders in our peer group," says Brouwer. "Each of us has gained insights and resources from the books and sermon series we have shared. We have also been helped with staffing issues, and benefited from mentoring connections with others who have gone through some of the same challenges."
Brouwer feels strongly that peer groups play an important role in contributing to healthy pastors—and churches. "None of our ministries would be as strong or healthy as they are were it not for the insights we have brought together and then taken back to our individual ministry settings," he says.
The variety of ages and experiences represented in peer learning groups allow for natural opportunities for mentoring and resource sharing, says Bomhof. "What I really like is that it is a mixed group of ministers, the multigenerational aspect. One member of our group is in his sixties and he shares a lot of his insights."
"As peer learning groups we span the spectrum of age and pastoral experience," echoes Rev. Derek Van Dalen, who leads a peer learning group in the state of New York. "This helps each of us to be refreshed, encouraged and to grow in pastoral wisdom."
The groups provide a fresh perspective to one’s personal journey of learning, says Rev. John Gerrits, pastor of Kelowna CRC in British Columbia. "The peer learning experience provides an invaluable layer to my own personal reflections," he says. "Sometimes the track of my owning thinking and awareness is a pretty tight and closed loop. The other group members help me to see and think and understand in creative new directions that I would never have come up with on my own."
The Need for Work-Life Balance
Parish ministry is an all-encompassing career. The hours are erratic and the work involves many evening and weekend obligations. It takes extra effort for pastors to set aside "down time" that coincides with that of their spouses and children. Pastors who attended the peer learning group conference noted the need for congregations to encourage pastors to find a healthy balance between being effective in their ministry and being effective in their homes or personal lives.
Many pastors involved in peer learning groups say that their participation in the groups has helped them to set healthier boundaries between work and personal lives. In fact, a California-based peer learning group has focused directly on work-life balance, healthy spousal relationships and improved physical and emotional health for pastors. Inviting their spouse to attend a recent retreat and their regular meetings has added to their group’s effectiveness. "We found it to be a real blessing," says group leader Rev. Larry Fryling. "We had the opportunity to hear the spouse’s perspective and found it to be helpful for both ministry and our marriage relationships."
Fryling says the group’s focus has contributed greatly to pastoral health—and has positively contributed to each pastor’s respective ministry. "Healthy pastors are always a plus to any church," he says. "Also, as healthy pastors we will be better equipped to know and answer God’s plan for each one of us."
Even groups whose focus is not specifically related to work-life balance often spend a lot of time discussing this issue, says Gerrits. "It is one of our regular topics of discussion," he says. "Our families and our personal lives are central to our time and attention. We pray for each other, offer insight and suggestions, and share things that have worked for us. When any one of us is going through something and it is shared at our group meeting—that person usually receives some calls and e-mails in the following weeks, just to touch base."
The Need to Reduce a Pastor’s Isolation
In their peer learning groups, leaders noted that isolation was a common theme. A pastor must be there for members of the church at all times, but who can the pastor can turn to for counsel, fellowship and prayer support? In addition, many pastors at the conference admitted that they find it hard to develop friendships within their congregation and often lack opportunities to seek out friendships elsewhere.
Pastors who participate in peer learning groups, however, say that the groups provide excellent opportunities to develop relationships with peers who share similar challenges and life experiences. Friendships and mutual support are a natural outcome of their meetings together. "Frankly, except for classis meetings and our peer group gatherings, we do not have much opportunity to interact," says Rev. Chris Lanham, who leads a peer learning group in Central Michigan. "The sense of community that has already risen in our group has been surprising and encouraging."
A Sense of Community
Church members who have been through difficult times of illness or crisis understand how important it is to experience the support of their pastor and other members of the congregation. Many are now learning that special effort needs to be taken to ensure that that same level of support is available to our pastors, too. "We teach our congregations about the importance of community. As pastors we need to have that, too," says Rev. Andy Sytsma, who—along with his colleagues in New Jersey—are discovering a new sense of Christian community through their peer learning group. Sytsma and his peers urge other pastors to start—or join—a group in their area.
