“Accepting the Ashes - A Daughter’s Look at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder”

In a time of war, what happens once a soldier comes home?

Quynn Elizabeth, daughter of a two-time Viet Nam veteran, writes to loved ones of soldiers who are fighting around the world right now. Drawing on her own life experience with her father, who lived with classic PTSD symptoms since 1967, yet only when his life fell apart did he accept that he had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, 30 years after his experience in Viet Nam.

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“Accepting the Ashes” shares stories and expands on ten issues to remember after a veteran returns from battle. She also discusses five things to think about as one begins to heal.

Written in the year of her father’s death, and during the war in Iraq, Quynn shares her personal story so that other veteran families might not have to wait 30 years before they heal their emotional wounds caused by the trauma of what happened in a war years before, which is right now.

1) It is safe to assume that anyone who has experienced combat has PTSD to some degree, whether they would admit it or not.

2) Partners and loved ones (especially women) cannot expect discussion about painful past experiences.

3) Many times, suffering people cannot express their pain and won’t seek help, especially men.

4) When a soldier does not come home from battle, their children are most at risk.

5) Changing marriage partners or using medication won’t erase grief.

5) How the individual views their military contribution to society, compared to cultural recognition of their contribution affects how severe their PTSD may be and how they deal with it.

7) If you find your loved one wearing their uniform in places that seem out of context, such as a costume party, the grocery store, or if they desire to wear the uniform for days at a time, assume that they might not be at peace with their war experience.

8) Many will try to mask or numb pain.

9) When the vet does express or display a desire for physical or emotional help- then HELP!

10) As soon as possible ask the returned vet “Are you resolved with what happened?” Also, Quynn explains the following clues to healing- There is a place for everyone, Change can happen, You have to say ‘yes’ to something, not just ‘no’ to something to change behavior, War changes people, and you have to Demand the right to heal.

Quynn Elizabeth can be reached at www.acceptingtheashes.net.