Skip to main content

Woman Offers Protocol for 'Fallen Families'

July 22, 2014

Pastors and Chaplains are familiar with populations in crisis and with the reality of families grieving the loss of a spouse or parent. We have been taught how to walk with these survivors after a traumatic event, but we also realize that real needs are often overlooked in these cases.

I recently spoke with a survivor of such a loss who has something important to share. Her name is Susan VandePol. She and her three children experienced the death of their Los Angeles firefighter husband and father in 2005.

Knowing first-hand the challenges of moving forward as a single parent after such a loss and some of the challenges that mitigate against those who might provide help, Susan was eventually motivated to develop a protocol for care and assistance to the spouse (and sometimes children) left behind.

Because we all think “this will not happen to us” until it does; and because there is a natural awkwardness, reluctance, or presumption that someone else is probably taking care of it; it was apparent to Susan that a protocol written up, agreed to, and used at these challenging times might be the best (or only) way to guarantee that the very real needs are actually addressed in a timely and appropriate fashion.

Susan has been humbled and delighted to find that this tool was not only appreciated and valued by her local team of firefighters, but that the material has become a welcome resource for many other groups of first responders, churches, and chaplains across the country.

More information about this, including a format designed specifically for churches, can currently be found on her web site — familiesofthefallen. She has recently put her story and the protocol into a book form that is due to be released soon with the title Life After Breath. (Her web site will soon change to that title as well.)

She currently lives in west Michigan and is happy to talk about her recovery and remarriage to a counselor — Robert VandePol — who currently works at the Pine Rest Christian Mental Health Services in Grand Rapids, who himself teaches crisis response around the nation. They both appreciate the chance to talk about how to adapt the protocol to different populations that wish to be prepared to serve survivors with a simple, but meaningful and long-term program of care.

Susan can be contacted by email ([email protected]) or phone (661-472-1991) or via the web site noted above.